Last week I talked about how we cope when having gone through a difficult situation. I asked you to think about something that happened to you and how you reacted. Are you still holding hurt or bitterness from the past? Or perhaps you did something and are having a hard time forgiving yourself? When we hold onto unhealthy things from our past, they will affect us in a negative way. So, where do I grow from here?
First of all, you have to realize that by harboring these things inside of you, they will cause destruction. You will become bitter, unkind and often times, people actually get physically sick from holding damaging emotional feelings inside. If it is a huge issue for you that you just can't seem to get past, I highly recommend that you seek out some good, solid counselling. However, if it's something that doesn't consume you constantly and yet it still bugs you, let's do a few steps.
Go over the situation in your mind and ask yourself how it makes you feel. Sometimes you'll find that you've been nursing something that doesn't even really seem to bother you anymore. If it still brings strong emotions, ask yourself exactly what that emotion is and why? Be specific. For example: a woman has a big fight with her brother - his teasing can get out of hand and she flips out and leaves. Neither calls or tries to iron things out. Time passes and before you know it, two years have passed by and they haven't spoken. Now things are awkward and neither really wants to make the move. The woman goes over the past hurt and decides that maybe she did take it too personally. She misses her brother and feels badly that things got so out of hand. But she's not sure if he'll be receptive after all this time. My advice: make the move! It doesn't matter if you were right or wrong, call the other and get together and talk things through. This is your sibling. Life is too short to hold onto grudges. (Please don't misunderstand me. If there was abuse involved, that's a whole different story but we won't go there today.)
Remember that you're not necessarily doing this for the other person but for yourself! You don't want to become angry and bitter and just not enjoy life anymore. The better way is to always forgive. How does this cause you to grow? You will learn how to push past something that is very difficult to do. This will definitely be a challenge but it will deepen who you are. For you, my dear friend, I wish growth and freedom for you in your life. And this is one way to move in that direction!
Question: What if the brother would have said 'no'. Let's talk about that next week.
Until next week, be blessed in your life!