Donna Kramer Life Coach and Speaker
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Being Spontaneous

4/29/2013

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Another Monday has reared its lovely face and we are all stepping into it. But how are we stepping into it?

Are we moving into this new week with a heaviness already on our shoulders? Are we just looking to get through this week if it is particularly busy? I would love to see you be able to embrace this week with its good and its bad and face it head on.

Being spontaneous may help! What is being spontaneous? Is it being irresponsible? No, we all have responsibilities and I take those seriously. It's important to be a person of integrity and when you say you are going to do something, you do it. When we take our duties at work and in our homes seriously, people begin to recognize that they can count on us and that is invaluable.

So when does 'spontaneous' take place? How about taking someone from your office out for lunch? Or how about calling home and saying you won't be there for supper and take yourself out for a pedicure? It's good to break routine sometimes and do something out of the ordinary. It helps you to find a little adventure in the everyday. It keeps life bright and fun.

Yes, it's important that we fill our obligations but let's remember to infuse a little extraordinary into the ordinary!
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Move Ahead Anyways

4/22/2013

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Happy Monday morning to all my precious friends out there! I hope this Monday finds you ready to tackle life again.

Because that is exactly what we often have to do is tackle life. It's not always easy and sometimes we do have to fight our way through but that brings strength of character and good things to our lives if we let it.

Speaking of this, this leads me into what we spoke about last week - repairing a strained relationship. The example I gave was a brother and sister that hadn't spoken for over two years because of a disagreement they'd had. But the sister wanted the relationship restored and, right or wrong, she was going to call her brother and talk.
The question I left you with was: what if her brother said no? What if he was still too angry and wasn't ready?

Then the sister would have to respect this. If she really loves her brother, she will respect his decision and leave him alone. For now, this is the right thing. However, this does not mean that she needs to give up. But the important thing for her and for her well being is to first of all fully forgive him. This will help the sister to move forward in her life irregardless of her brother's response. As an adult, you need to make decisions for yourself - no one can (or should!) do that for
you. Secondly, the sister needs to realize that she had done all she can and now the ball is in the brother's court. It's his serve.
 
So, if you are in a difficult situation with someone, forgive!  Don't hold in bitterness or anger - it will eat away at you and you will lose out - not the person you are angry at. This does not mean that you stuff your feelings! You need to feel your anger and perhaps grieve at the loss but eventually you need to let go and move on.

So, take stock. Is there a relationship that you feel that you want to restore? Then go ahead! If not, put it down, forgive and move on. Find people who love you and will support you in your life. Then you will live your life to the fullest and that is what I want for each of you!
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Growth

4/15/2013

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Monday morning and I'm happy to be here with you, my dear friends, yet again.

Last week I talked about how we cope when having gone through a difficult situation. I asked you to think about something that happened to you and how you reacted. Are you still holding hurt or bitterness from the past? Or perhaps you did something and are having a hard time forgiving yourself? When we hold onto unhealthy things from our past, they will affect us in a negative way. So, where do I grow from here?

First of all, you have to realize that by harboring these things inside of you, they will cause destruction. You will become bitter, unkind and often times, people actually get physically sick from holding damaging emotional feelings inside. If it is a huge issue for you that you just can't seem to get past, I highly recommend that you seek out some good, solid counselling. However, if it's something that doesn't consume you constantly and yet it still bugs you, let's do a few steps.

Go over the situation in your mind and ask yourself how it makes you feel. Sometimes you'll find that you've been nursing something that doesn't even really seem to bother you anymore. If it still brings strong emotions, ask yourself exactly what that emotion is and why? Be specific. For example: a woman has a big fight with her brother - his teasing can get out of hand and she flips out and leaves. Neither calls or tries to iron things out. Time passes and before you know it, two years have passed by and they haven't spoken. Now things are awkward and neither really wants to make the move. The woman goes over the past hurt and decides that maybe she did take it too personally.  She misses her brother and feels badly that things got so out of hand. But she's not sure if he'll be receptive after all this time.  My advice: make the move! It doesn't matter if you were right or wrong, call the other and get together and talk things through. This is your sibling. Life is too short to hold onto grudges. (Please don't misunderstand me. If there was abuse involved, that's a whole different story but we won't go there today.)

Remember that you're not necessarily doing this for the other person but for yourself! You don't want to become angry and bitter and just not enjoy life anymore. The better way is to always forgive. How does this cause you to grow? You will learn how to push past something that is very difficult to do. This will definitely be a challenge but it will deepen who you are. For you, my dear friend, I wish growth and freedom for you in your life. And this is one way to move in that direction!

Question: What if the brother would have said 'no'. Let's talk about that next week.

Until next week, be blessed in your life!

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Grow and Change

4/8/2013

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Great Monday Morning! How are all my precious Blogites today? I'm thrilled that each of you joins me here each week. It is my priviledge that you choose to take a few minutes to read my thoughts. I hope and pray that they help you on your journey - even if it's just a small step, it's  moving you forward.

Last week, I talked about encouragement and today I want to talk about growing and changing. For some, this thought is terrifying. Is it going to hurt? Well, it might. Growth is not always comfortable but it is necessary. When you plant a seed in the ground, it's cold and dark and the seed must split in two in order to start the growing process. Don't worry! It won't be quite that painful but it's always a challenge.

Growth often comes from hard experiences in our lives. But only if we make the decision to learn from them. If we decide to be bitter or always feeling wounded and stay the victim then no, not only will the growth not take place but you often stunt your growth. Or perhaps you have wrapped yourself up in distractions: food, alchol

So, when confronted with an uncomfortable situation or circumstance in your life, how do you learn and grow from it? Well, my dear ones, stay tuned. That will be our topic for next week. But for now, think about something difficult you've been through and how you coped or perhaps are still coping. Perhaps make a few notes on how it's affected you. Until next week, take good care of yourselves!
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Encouragement

4/1/2013

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Happy Monday morning! I hope you all had a wonderful Easter with friends and family. Speaking of Easter, yesterday I went to a church that I normally don't go to. I like going to church on Easter morning. It was lovely.There was a choir, trumpets, an organ and a piano and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Up on the power point screen was the name of the church and the words: A place to belong, a place to become.

A PLACE TO BELONG; A PLACE TO BECOME.  Wouldn't we all like this? We all want to belong somewhere and then to become more than who we are today - that is sincerely my desire!

So I got to thinking. How do we make this happen? Well, it we want a place to belong, we need to make others in that place feel that they belong as well. The whole idea of belonging to something is having a group that you feel you belong to.
What about becoming? I think that deep down we would all like to become more than what we are. "Becoming" comes from two things: being encouraged by those around us and our own desire to grow and change.

Encouraging others is a wonderful thing. Why? Because it always works both ways. I'm not saying to give just to get but it often works that way. When we encourage, we feel blessed and encouraged to see someone able to move ahead in a new way.
So being encouraged: start by encouraging! Next week: our own desire to grow and change. Where do you start?

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    Donna

    Donna Kramer is a life coach and speaker. She lives in Winnipeg, Canada

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